The Wrench

Have you ever had a really bad day at work? And I mean a really bad day. One where you wanted to never return to the workplace? Well, I had one such day, and the events that occurred below made my spirits soar, and I did indeed head back to work the next day.

Here are some things that you need to know before reading this story:
1.) We live in Northern Kentucky. Most people have a slight twang when they speak, but usually it is so subtle that most people have no problems communicating.

2.) I grew up in Indiana, but have family from Kentucky and Tennessee. I have the slight twang mentioned above with certain words. Because of my family, I can understand people with a heavy twang.

3.) Boyfriend grew up in Iowa where there is no twang and they speak correctly without an accent.

4.) Boyfriends’ mom was an English teacher which means he is very sensitive about the pronunciation of words.

One day I came home from work and was not very happy. I had a horrible day. Boyfriend decided to take me out to dinner to lift my spirits. He said that he also needed to stop by Lowe’s for a wrench.

We head into Lowe’s and are looking for the tool department when an elderly employee asks if we need any assistance. Let me just say this gentleman had a very noticeable twang.

So, boyfriend, who never asks for help, says, “Yes, sir. I am looking for wrench. Could you tell me which aisle they are in?”

The gentleman says “Ur lookin’ for a wha?” (I’m trying to type in KY twang, so forgive me.)

Boyfriend repeats himself (which he hates) “I’m looking for a wrench.”

Gentleman “A wha?”

Boyfriend shortens it “A wrench”.

At this point the gentleman looks at me, and I say in my own slight southern twang “He’s lookin’ for a wreanch.”

Gentleman “Oh! Ur lookin’ for a wreanch! Those are up at the front of the sto’.”

Boyfriend’s face was priceless. I wish I had taken a picture. The gentleman had no idea and was a happy go lucky fellow. Also, I said it no louder than boyfriend so it wasn’t a hearing problem if you are thinking that the gentleman was having a problem hearing boyfriend. No, this was an Iowa boy trying to communicate with Kentucky twang.

I held in my laughter until we were outside the store which took a lot and I was sputtering the whole time and had tears from holding it in. Not to mention the huge grin I had on my face.

We walk out of the store and boyfriend cannot hold it in any longer…”A wrench…it’s a wrench. Not a ranch…a wrench.” Boyfriend heard us say “ranch” instead of a mangled wrench.

I start laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face. It made my day. I laughed all night long every time I thought of the exchange. You should really hear boyfriend tell the story because it is hilarious.

We still laugh about it today when we tell friends and family about it. Oh and I have to ask for assistance now because he says he doesn’t speak with enough twang.